It's 5 pm on a Thursday. This is my activity of choice. I don't know if that's sad, or the other shit I have to do just sucks shit out of a straw.
The worst are the days you commit to the night before. Before going to bed you assure yourself you will do something productive the next day. Nothing is more depressing then waking up and realizing the only likely activity you'll be partaking in is trying to figure a way to use your phone as a keyboard and mouse for your computer so you don't have to leave your bed.
And it's not like I have nothing to do. I would just rather be doing nothing. I have tons of shit I am suppose to be doing. But this is much better.
I came back from vacation 2 days ago, and my suitcase still has my shit in it. I think the symbolism of emptying a suitcase after a vacation is too hard for me to deal with. I'd rather just put more of my shit in it, and feel like I'm going to need it for when I go somewhere else where no one is expecting me to do anything. I'm just a naturally tired person.
This is one of those days where if I actually went anywhere I would avoid people I see that I know, only because I'm too lazy to put words together to make sentences and talk to them. I have days where I see people and when they say "Hello" I just walk by and mouth the words "how are you", and then look away as if I saw something somehow ironically interesting.
It's even worse when they weren't even intending on talking to me either. Two people who literally do not want to waste energy on speaking to each other is very sad to watch, and even sadder to be apart of.
The question "How are you?" is actually completely meaningless. Who will actually tell you how they're doing? And who gives a fuck? I don't want to hear about someone's problems. And I doubt anyone who's ever spoken to me was actually at all curious about how I felt about my recent activities of avoiding exercise and trying to pick songs that I could put onto my iPod that make me feel less like a fag.
Maybe I'll have a show soon though. Which is bittersweet. I love doing comedy, but it does interrupt my doing nothing. So I should probably start writing jokes.
