The Best Comics, In My Eyes

Ok, so when I said Patrice O'Neal was one of my favourite comics yesterday I got to looking for a list I made a couple of months ago with all my top 10 favourite comics on it but couldn't find it. So I'll remake it here on the internet where I can't lose it. So without further shitty introduction, here's the list.

10. Dane Cook

Ok, so he's not one of the best most creative comics of all time. So he tells a lot of "remember when" stories, and jumps around like a fucking retard.
None of this takes away from the fact he has a very unique style that really catered to my youth. I liked him for the things he talked about, considering it was all things that related to him. I like that. He wasn't getting into politics and the state of celebrity relationships even though he was a huge star. He was talking about the things that he wanted to talk about.
His last special really upset me because he lost all of that jumpiness everyone came to love/hate him for. He just stood at the mic and talked like any other comic. It just wasn't Dane.
Now, to get the elephant in the room out of the way, I do think he stole jokes from Louis CK and Joe Rogan. But he's ok. I heard him talking about it on Marc Maron and Joe Rogans podcasts and I really feel like I respect him a lot more, and how he performed. He wasn't the greatest, but he did what he did and made a lot of money. Kudos. Worthy of number 10.
Dane Cook "B n' E"

9. Robert(Bob) Kelly

This guy is seriously underrated.
He's very funny, he has good stage presence and he's just fun.
He's got a really funny perspective on things and hearing him just say shit is hilarious.
Plus he's tweeted me and called me a fag. So he's fucking awesome.
Comedy Factory Robert Kelly







8. Greg Giraldo

Greg died at the age of 44 a few months back. He was such a brilliant writer as anyone who watched the comedy central roasts would know.
He would break down a person, subject or object like no one else. He was really a great comic. Gone way too soon.
His roast of Larry the Cable Guy was one of the funniest and most true 5 minutes I have ever seen.
He was the shit.
Greg Giraldo roasts Larry the Cable Guy











7. Colin Quinn

Colin is awesome. You may know him from SNL if you watched it a few years back, or you may know him from the show Tough Crowd as you would most of the guys on my list.
He was the host of Tough Crowd, which if you haven't seen was one of the greatest shows to ever be cancelled. He brought in a very unique way for comics to present material and just riff for the audience to enjoy. The closest thing you'll find to it now is really the Opie & Anthony show because most of the guys form the show (who are still alive) do that show.
So if you're ever bored definitely try looking around youtube for old Tough Crowd episodes.
Besides that Colin is a genius. Off the mic and on stage he's always hilarious.
Best of Tough Crowd Part 1 of 2



6. Joe Rogan

Joe fucking Rogan. Wow is this guy awesome. He's one of the best personalities on the planet right now.
His UFC commentary, his podcast, he's just a fuck ball of badass.
He's an awesome writer too. He's one of the top working stand-up comics right now. He's just such an interesting guy.
He's the most badass because he takes completely interesting subjects and makes them hilarious in his stand up.
He used to do a bit about aliens that in written form would have been just an awesome read to show anyone who was interested in life and the possibility of outside life forms, but for him to perform it he can blow you away. You don't even realize that you're approving of his deepest thoughts through laughter.
He'd be in my top 5 if the other 5 weren't who they are.
Joe Rogan - Personal Challenge





5. Dave Chappelle

Just one of those naturally funny guys who happens to be a genius.
He's been on hiatus for a while, but he is still one of my favourites.
I've never been a huge fan of black comics, but he's one of the few who really broke through for me and did something that caught my attention.
A lot of them get stuck talking about the same things, but his material was just so silly but so thought out. Just a great comic. I hope he comes back with more.
Man Rape


4. Patrice O'Neal

Yeah, I wrote a long post about him yesterday. But he is someone who really could control a room like no one else.
It's a shame he wasn't more well known. An awesome comic and an amazing human being.
White Guy Crimes









3. Jerry Seinfeld

A true legend of comedy. Like him or dislike him, he's the greatest clean comic possibly of all time. Definitely right now.
He attacks subject from any angle.
Also one of the hardest workers in comedy.
Stand Up On David Letterman















2. Jim Norton

Is he really top 2 for his on stage performance? Is he really better then Jerry Seinfeld?
Yes and no.
He's the funniest off the cuff person I've ever heard. Hearing him spiraling in anger on Opie & Anthony is the funniest thing you could ever listen to. He's fucking brilliant. He's genius.
You have to hear him on Opie & Anthony to really appreciate him.
Jimmy destroys Ellen





1. Louis CK

Come on. No question. Just watch him.
Louis on Conan












I couldn't fit in a lot of guys. Honourable mention to Bill Burr (Bob Kelly fucked you out of a spot because he tweeted me), Jim Jeffries, Doug Stanhope, Bill Cosby.
The only reason they're not up there is because they arn't as personal to me. They're awesome comics.

Patrice O'Neal

To be inspired by something usually comes from such a formulated thing: success right before everything goes to shit. It's very rare to be inspired by a personality, or a way of thinking. No defining moment, no beautifully told story. Just brilliance. 

I had first heard Patrice O'Neal on the Opie and Anthony show a couple of years ago. He's a big black guy, so it's hard to say I related to anything he had to say. I didn't even agree with a lot of what he was saying, but hearing him explain his thinking was amazing. He's probably the most hilarious person I've ever heard just speak. His natural cadence was just funnier then anything else I'd ever heard. 

He showed how funny being fully honest is. To just say exactly what he saw and how he saw it was always so refreshing. 

I literally heard his voice at least once every week since then. He had such a fascinating point of view that I would have never seen from. I needed to hear it. I needed to know what ways I wasn't looking at the world. There is no one I've listened to speak with such an ability to grab peoples attention with just purely telling how he felt. 

For all of that gay shit I just said, he was always one of my favourite comics. I'm not just saying that because he's gone, I'm saying it because it's true. 

I remember watching one show he did on youtube and seeing how he interacted with the room, and how he gave all of himself to the crowd and just wished I could find a way to do that. At the same time, he never compromised himself for an audience. You were always going to get him. 

I remember seeing him on the Charlie Sheen roast and honestly feeling proud to show people his performance. I almost feel like everyone should hear his point of view, and if you don't you truly are missing out. 

When I heard he had a stroke last month I was devastated. I just hoped he'd somehow be ok. The truth was that a guy who was so brilliant and talented was in state where he couldn't even speak or communicate. So when I heard he passed away I was heart broken but almost relieved. Nothing would be worse then seeing someone with so much life exist like that. 

He was such an extraordinary talent. I feel like I will miss his existence. 

I have 5 comics who I truly look up to. He's always been one of them. 

This is about nothing.

It's 5 pm on a Thursday. This is my activity of choice. I don't know if that's sad, or the other shit I have to do just sucks shit out of a straw.
The worst are the days you commit to the night before. Before going to bed you assure yourself you will do something productive the next day. Nothing is more depressing then waking up and realizing the only likely activity you'll be partaking in is trying to figure a way to use your phone as a keyboard and mouse for your computer so you don't have to leave your bed.
And it's not like I have nothing to do. I would just rather be doing nothing. I have tons of shit I am suppose to be doing. But this is much better.
I came back from vacation 2 days ago, and my suitcase still has my shit in it. I think the symbolism of emptying a suitcase after a vacation is too hard for me to deal with. I'd rather just put more of my shit in it, and feel like I'm going to need it for when I go somewhere else where no one is expecting me to do anything. I'm just a naturally tired person.
This is one of those days where if I actually went anywhere I would avoid people I see that I know, only because I'm too lazy to put words together to make sentences and talk to them. I have days where I see people and when they say "Hello" I just walk by and mouth the words "how are you", and then look away as if I saw something somehow ironically interesting.
It's even worse when they weren't even intending on talking to me either. Two people who literally do not want to waste energy on speaking to each other is very sad to watch, and even sadder to be apart of.
The question "How are you?" is actually completely meaningless. Who will actually tell you how they're doing? And who gives a fuck? I don't want to hear about someone's problems. And I doubt anyone who's ever spoken to me was actually at all curious about how I felt about my recent activities of avoiding exercise and trying to pick songs that I could put onto my iPod that make me feel less like a fag.
Maybe I'll have a show soon though. Which is bittersweet. I love doing comedy, but it does interrupt my doing nothing. So I should probably start writing jokes.